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now today on super-soul conversations 91
year old author scholar and Benedictine monk brother David Stein de Rossi is
beloved the world over for his enduring message about gratefulness it's the true
source of lasting joy today brother Steiner Rost invites us to embrace the
spiritual practice a grateful living I. Know the study of gratitude has been
your life's work and as we now in the world are searching for ways to find
common ground you believe that all humans share the same yearning what is
that yearning the yearning is basically I think all humans who thanked me to be
happy to be happy to be joyful and then make a little distinction between happy
and joyful because we say we want to be happy but we want to be happy with the
happiness that last yeah well aware that happiness just doesn't last never that
kind of life so we have to find the happiness that lasts and that happiness
I call joy and we can't find that because we can't find that joy even in
the midst of unhappiness yes so for you is gratefulness a practice yes it's a
way of being but the practice is your way of yes a way of living that's why
lately I talk less about gratitude but more about grateful living
mmm because when you speak about gratitude people mm thing oh yeah when
something nice happens then of course I'm grateful but grateful living is to
be grateful at all times at all times no matter what happens and that means
reaping the joy that comes from gratefulness at all times also in the
midst of suffering and so what do you think the essence of grateful living is
if I want to live more gratefully in my life which I'm telling you what are you
really grateful for and there it's important to realize you're not grateful
for what happens at this moment necessarily because it may be something
for which you cannot be grateful if you get news that your dearest friend has
just died right it makes a many if you just faced on the news with oppression
of exploitation and misery and violence you can't be grateful for that but at
every moment life gives you the opportunity to do something with what
life gives you and therefore grateful living means
learning a Vegas or moment a moment of that opportunity yes and that most of
the time it's the opportunity to enjoy and some really has to help people
realize that this 99% of the time we could enjoy that we can believe in joy
that we have eyes not wait until you have to lose your sight or have to
breathe through a machine or have some kind of disease before you can
appreciate the fact that when you break away you have some difficult times but
that is enjoyment that is the opportunity to enjoy so you can imagine
that in our country as well as all over the world
actually disruption is occurring at a rate that we have never seen I was so
happy to read in gratefulness the heart of Prayer how you see everything as an
opportunity because I've been thinking deeply about our situation and I think
this moment in our culture in our world in our society is a moment that calls
for each of us to step into this opportunity absolutely that is quite a
different opportunity from enjoying yes but it is also a gift and a great gift
that in a time in the place is the whole world today where everything is to one
and everyone invoking ascension we have the opportunity to stretch even further
than people had to stretch themselves before to understand one another
yeah to come to to a common hope and I. Love how you define hope well you did
you share this with I think hope is something very different from our hopes
the hopes are always something that we can imagine
you can't avoid unless you can imagine it but hope in this truly spiritual
sense is openness for surprise for that rich okay real hope with the capital age
wealth is being open to surprise surprise as opposed to the hope for the
thing that you imagine or you want or you're wishing for it yes and if you
cost life it will surprise you good thing okay
so let's start right there because I. Think that what you just said is the key
is that that unlocks the path to a successful life and that is trust life
the beginning that is the beginning right isn't that the foundation of the
phone version of everything and that's what ultimately faith is is it not we
can withhold that cost or we can give it and if we withhold it we can try
for a little one everything goes wrong how can people learn to not withhold it
when you feel like life has given you an unfair shot how can you develop faith
maintain sustained faith when you really think life has been really unfair
I don't quickly say well yes you should trust in life and I would be very
careful but it's the only thing that you can say and you ask how can I prove that
life is worth trusting if you know the person well enough and can really speak
from heart to heart that's also necessary but you can make them look
back on their life and they will see that even the worst things that happened
to them turned out to be life-giving if you look back on your life you see
situations and times when everything seemed to be just terrible as
catastrophe and now all of this catastrophe not in spite of it even
because of it and you got where you are and that is so encouraging
but you see mostly when you look in the real mirrors of decision and when you
look forward you can't see otherwise you wouldn't be in the difficult situation
correct but I think also developing a trust in life even when the hard times
come you know you'll get through it that is the point because you have
experienced in the past and you can see it when you look at the patch but when
you look at the future you can't see it that's what makes it so difficult and
then you need that cost even though I.
Don't see it
I trust that life will give me good things yes so how do you come to be a
human being who lives more alive well first you have to stop because
we are in such a fast lane in life most of us whether we want it or not life is
so fast these days so we are really rushed along and we don't see the
opportunities life offices moment and moment opportunity so have to stop and
get into the present moment our shared friend a cat old yes yes really taught
people that you have to stop long enough to be present and then you can listen
look smell if necessary whatever what is now the opportunity that Life offers me
at this moment and then that is to look and then go and grab it do something
with it when it comes to enjoyment enjoy the moment really
don't just say nice flowers go on to something else but look at the flowers
let them impress you yeah so stop look oh those are the three necessary steps
that have to be repeated over and over to really come alive that is really the
happiness that we are long for to be alive on all lovers on the physical
rubber our mental and emotional level and on the spiritual level right I know
you believe that gratitude can inspire a revolution because Junior TED talk you
said gratitude can change our world and immensely important ways because if
you're grateful you're not fearful and if you're not fearful you're not violent
if you're grateful you act out of a sense of enough and not of a sense of
scarcity and you are willing to share since we've lived under the power
pyramid for so many hundreds of years can do you think being grateful inspire
revolution well the reasons why the power pyramid is so destructive yeah
tell us what you mean by the power pyramid yes is the social life
the form that we give our social life if we are fearful and those are two
possibilities to life either to trust life or to be fearful of life
fearfulness makes you violent and the root of violence is fearfulness yes
absolutely and then this fear builds this pyramid because the one that is a
little higher up than the others is fearful that somebody else might get
there and so uses violence to oppress the other sides already of question then
we see the terrorists were out the world the violence being enacted upon people
throughout the world all those people are doing that because they're afraid
exactly and they are afraid of one another that the other one would get the
hit yeah so you get competition yes and then again fear fear that that's not
enough and if you fear that there's not enough you want to get as much as
possible for yourself exactly the opposite is when you trust life because
then you are not fearful instead of violence or violence peace that is
exactly the world all of us want the world of peace of cooperation and the
feeling something I read that struck me where you were saying this time that
we're all living in now where everybody feels so divided and can't agree that
this time maybe offering us the opportunity to love our enemies exactly
that's what we have to learn today and the fact that it remains the enemy
because if suddenly they became your friends you would love your friends but
not your enemies they remain an abyss but you love them no how is that
possible well first of all you have to say what do you mean by love yes and the
one definition if you want to a working definition of any kind of love there's
so many kinds of love have your spouse love your friends love
your animals love with your country what all of them have together is I see yes
we belong together yes to belonging love is a yes to belonging that it's not only
said with your mouth but with your whole being live yes essentially yeah that's a
great definition love is a lived yes to belonging so what I hear you saying is
that you can love your enemies love them by understanding they have as much right
to belong you do it doesn't mean you have to agree with them no because if
you're gonna love your enemies they have to remain your enemies right one of the
aspects of loving your enemies is that you listen to them you listen what are
they saying yes and then you say maybe they are right for momentum or say maybe
they are right and nod I so you check what your opinion is against their
opinion right that's already a step forward then you look at the issue that
this would be the real thing let's together look at the issue and not
have our preconceived notions so you're trying to get your enemies to look at
the issues not at the position and where can we find some common ground where can
we can find common go yeah but it also means that in those aspects in which
your enemies floatation marks because you see enemies you think you hate them
know those enemies whom you love in some cases you have to do everything to swat
their purpose if somebody stands for destruction of the environment cuts down
the rainforests they are my enemies I. Can't help it they are my enemies and I
will do everything possible to protect the animals of will you still love them
I wish they love them because we belong together do you believe that every
person comes into the world has a calling
absolutely but it's difficult to become a really yeah I think everybody has a
calling a speak of life it's like great mystery that that we confront this human
being life great mystery is another word you use for God for that for life life
for mystery and if you are sure that you are using the word God correctly you
could even call it God but so many misunderstanding so I call it life
everybody knows would be me but that's very mysterious
you cannot analyze it you cannot grasp it but you can understand it if you give
yourself to it if you let it take hold of you and life offers you things very
different from any other person just never been another person that had
exactly the same answers the same one of this time in history that makes a great
difference and all these things make you your very very unique and this
uniqueness is your calling to live it to the for that uniqueness it's like an old
that we are given when I say we all belong together
that is our self yes so the real calling for all of us is this calling that each
of us as an individual has to come alive and suck as a human being done Express
whatever that is in fact yeah people want to come alive in their uniqueness
and to be able to express what that is which is the mystery the mystery
expressing itself through them in that you really never before yeah there is a
beautiful story from the mystical tradition in Judaism where one great
master praise Oh God make me like a and the voice comes from heaven exists
I've already got one that's right that's right I appreciate you saying that the
term spirit has been so misuse that I. Would be perfectly happy to drop it
completely declare a moratorium on the word spirit and use always the term
common sense because in contemporary parlance that says it much better it
makes sense it's connected with the body through the senses I think that I
thought that was brilliant when I yes because I think the word spirit is so
confusing for people that if we start using it's the common sense common sense
does it make sense it has to do with the senses and all our senses and it is
common to all and it means to awareness that we are all born so this is what's
so fascinating to me about your life story is that your own path to
gratefulness actually started as a teenager growing up in nazi-occupied
Austria where you witnessed the horrors of Hitler's power so you have been in
that space where it is as bad as you can get and how did you cultivate a practice
of gratitude in the midst of war when everything is so uncertain and when the
bombs are falling left and right and you don't even know whether y'all but no
means for the house yeah there were many times where the bombs would go up yeah
and you were surprised that you were still alive yes many many times and when
you live in that way so were you allowed to stay in your home you were never
taken off to a camp I was in the Army in the German army but we're not in camps
we had to live in the present moment toilet moment
when you live in the present moment you are are there that's where the stop
brings you yeah and then you can look and you can do go I can I can I can
imagine that the only thing you can do is focus on right now because it's too
much to try to worry about what's going to happen an hour from now that's a
situation in which one of our teachers gave us a homework and he said this is
for next Thursday and the whole class burst out laughing wow I know I read
that you didn't even know you never expected to live Pat - time to move or
not you didn't expect to make it to 20 and
here you are 91 Wow well you sure the lesson in gratitude you learned from
keeping death before your eyes and where you got that at all times well just
described this situation in which you have to live in the present moment
because the palms are boring left and right and in every other way of life is
endangered this living in the present moment and
that is what gives you joy in life as I. Read this sentence in a little book
called the rule of Saint Benedict that is who according to which the
Benedictine monks lives for 1500 years now and we read it only because we
wanted to do something spiteful against our Nazi teachers and we knew they
didn't want to stupid that sort of thing and that sentence to have deaths at all
times before you act that's taught me deeply and then when the war was over it
came back to my mind and I thought well that's why we were so joyful you know
because we had death before our eyes we had to live in the present moment that's
we had a wonderful use I wouldn't want to trade it against anything with all
the hardship and that because I had the ready
the rule of Saint Benedict I thought that probably I should become a
Benedictine monk put a like parables running away from it for many years so
how did you finally become a Benedictine monk well first of all I started
studying anything finding any alibi that I could find so studying this and I have
to finish that studied psychology and then I even went to the United States
from Europe so but you don't go to the United States in order to become a monk I told a friend you know if I had lived
in the Middle Ages I would have joined to bring a distance but I want that
original spirit and I told this to a friend and he said oh that's funny I
just read that they started a monastery in the modern New York and it's supposed
to be a reform of the Benedictine life and they want to come back to the
original fervor of the Lord and that was it I went there and I knew that was it
love at first sight I would do it again so how old were you when you first
joined I was 26 so what's the life of a Benedictine monk like well we do it
basically the three activities trying to look the one is we have a choir we
should we pray in choir and we pray seven times a day sometimes that's
adjusted and so but basically at sunrise at noon at sunset and in-between at
those hours so we have what we call the hours of the day we come together with
chants many people nowadays like this mekka channey yes they feel so we chant
we pray together we chant that is one of our activities the other one is that we
study or can't meditate on Scripture but also on all sorts of other things and
the third activity is working with you and so everybody works with their hands
part of the time the part of the day that keeps you down to earth that's
typically been addictive and my favorite working now in my at my aged isn't much
else I can do is washing the dishes but that is also a wonderful way of stop
look go you feel the distrust you feel the warm water and the cold with
anything water you're aware of it you become aware of it that is the joy most
people don't like washing dishes but it can be a real communication with life
that would even be an entrance to living a life of great through living by asking
yourself what do I hate to do yes start with that and then find the opportunity
in it in that thing that you not up to now you hated it now you'll find what
does this opportunity doesn't give me mmm I think so many people are feeling
overwhelmed by their anger today how can we transform that anger into something
more positive anger actually have a positive view of anger
do you anger gives you a lot of energy so the anger in itself that bursts of
energy is something very positive so bat yourself on the shoulder if you are
alive if you're gonna let it motivate you to do some more but now comes the
point how should it motivate you yeah and it should motivate you in us by
looking at the others as your equals we belong together but the anger itself
that bursts of energy let's use it let's use it positively and positively means
by remembering we belong together this is our world this is one I know the
faulty thinking is people believing that certain groups have a right to be here
and others do not that's where we've gone wrong and you
believe that one way toward a better is to remember one of the most popular
commands in the Bible which is fear not the main thing no you said that it's in
the Bible 365 times that is the main thing because it's the opposite of the
power pyramid all the fear violence are the fear greed or fear rivalry all these
bad things and out of trust in life comes cooperation peace sharing and
ultimately that love that love that says yes and we live on a limited planet and
we cannot have unlimited growth on the limited planet so at 90 years old what's
there 91 what still surprises you what's your supplies me everything everyday
thing I would have to list everything that I can sit here and have this
conversation wonderful very grateful point but everything so I want to end
with the passage from your forthcoming book I am through you so I you write
daily it becomes clearer to me gratitude is a celebration of love just as love as
the lived yes of joyful mutual belonging gratitude celebrates life with a joyful
yes and every not of the great network in which everything is connected to
everything as we live this yes with ever more conviction love ripens ever more
abundantly in the autumn Sun of life I.
Now see it as my main task to simply
allow this to happen since we do not die from death but from fully ripened
whoa I guess you got to be a benedictine month to come up with that thank you so
much thank you for this opportunity thank you for this opportunity I'm Oprah
Winfrey and you've been listening to super-soul conversations a podcast thank
you for listening thank you for watching this video my friends I hope you really
enjoyed it make sure you leave a comment below and please subscribe to this
channel I want to give you so much more thank you and I'll see you next time Oprah Winfrey - A Life of Lasting Happiness & Gratitude with David Steindl-Rast (SuperSoul Podcast).
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